Daydreaming and Worrying

I have been daydreaming and worrying for the past couple of days. I know it's useless to worry but I can't help it. I worry about my health. I also worry about my husband's health. Sometimes there's something I feel about my body, particularly in my stomach. It's not really pain. It's just something weird. Most of the time I dismiss those thoughts. It's just maybe because my eating habits have changed for the past months. And may be my worrying may be caused by my father dying of lymphoma. I saw how his strong body was destroyed by cancer cells in such a short time and I feel fear of happening that again to any member of my family. My husband's health is not as perfect too. He has some medical record we cannot disclose to anyone. Sometimes I yell at him for eating something unhealthy, and for adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. We've been trying to eat healthy and I should really practice not to worry now.

Meanwhile, in the middle of work, I daydream. I dream of retiring from this job. I dream of freeing myself from the rat race called corporate life. I dream of emancipating myself from being a corporate slave. My dream retirement would be living in the province, particularly in the province of my ancestors in Catanduanes. It's a beautiful island full of places untouched by commercialization. I dream of owning a small farm, with my house in there and me and my husband managing the farm. While managing a farm, I also work as a freelancer doing home-based projects like research or writing. With my mba, I could teach in the island's state university, who knows?  I would do it for fun, the earning is just a bonus. The farm and the house is just near where my relatives live, either my father or my mother's side. They're just some few kilometers apart anyway. 

Our home would have space so our siblings and their families in the city have a place to stay if they want to spend the summer in the island. They could stay there for months without worrying about food. They will eat all organic during their stay. And on weekends we would visit a beach or falls and rivers and spend the whole day there, and would go back home before sun sets with our pick up truck and have a perfect evening scrolling through our social media feeds chatting with our close friends and family in far away places. I would create a blog about farming and living the provincial life, and our friends in the city would be messaging me about this awesome place. How wonderful, right?!