2019 That Was

When I opened my blog (force of habit) yesterday, I realized I didn’t have any year end blog post. I debated with myself if I needed one, and my lazy self lost so here it is.

It’s already the third of January, a little late for a year end post but not so late since a lot of people are still on the holiday  mode so I feel like I can take my lunch break at work to write just one post for this blog. One of the reasons why I have been lazy to update this blog is because I’m having this feeling that Blogspot will meet the same fate as Multiply did, but I’m still hoping that it will not. Google, please?

Nothing grand happened in my life in 2019. The past 365 days were spent at work, house chores, and social media time, and procrastinating! Haha! I managed to read a few books and watched a lot of movies at my laptop. Just two movies at the cinema. See? I have been focused this year.

As to the professional side of my life, yes, I have been having the same sentiments with the previous years, but this year has gotten worse. I felt more invisible at work now that I have been ever since I started in this company. I felt like I have not been given the opportunity and appreciation than I deserve. I felt that my self esteem shattered a little more that it did in the past. But one thing I learned, I know I become a better person now. I think I owe it to myself. If others can’t give it to me, I gave myself a little more credit than I deserve.

Truth is, I stopped dreaming of stepping up the corporate ladder. I don’t ambition those high positions. I don’t like their jobs. All I want in life is earn money to feed myself and help my family. I can retire a rank and file and be happy about it just as long as I am valued by my employer as someone who contributes to this organization. But this is not the reality. My salary makes me feel like the opposite. So I was not happy with this situation. If someone would ask me why I don’t just resign and look for another employer, it’s more complicated than that. I can tell you in person, and it depends on who this person is in my life. I have trust issues, and it is serious.

Another thing I learned this year.  I cannot trust everyone at work, even the person I think was the most trustworthy. Not anymore. These coming years, I will keep my mouth shut!

Life in general was fine in 2019. Of course, there were ups and downs, enlightenment, inspirations, new hobbies and interests, new learnings, nothing grand but life is pretty good and I still believe that better days are still ahead. No grand plans and goals for 2020. Just continuing my self growth quest and gratefulness in my life. No matter what happens, I still believe that I have served my purpose and my life is God's gift to the people I served :)