Kamusta Ka, Yung Totoo?

I have used these words a lot lately in instant messaging to ask some few friends how they've been doing. I only ask this to those who I really care about. Those I have not heard anything in a long time. Yes, I am aware of their Facebook activities, but I don't trust the newsfeed. For sure, what people post in social media is not even one fourth of what happens to them in real life.

When someone ask me "kamusta ka?" (that's how are you in Tagalog) my automatic response is "Okay lang" (I'm fine). That is always the case. Even if you know the person is not really okay, they would tell you they are okay, like it's a programmed automatic response. So instead I ask them "kamusta ka, yung totoo?", and some of the answers were I know from their hearts. It was such a relief that these people were honest about their feelings, and I'm glad that they trusted me, so I need to keep those conversations private no matter what. At these times when life hits us hard, all we need a friend who listens, and I just happen to have one. 

Finally, I was able to buy myself a laptop this first week of August. Even it's the most basic one my money can afford, I finally have something to use for my school and other internet stuff I can use at home. But just after a week I bought it, a virus tested my patience. It really ruined my week and I don't even want to go over the details! ;p And it taught me another life lesson.

School is starting to give me a little stress so I need to remind myself again and again that the learning and experience is the most important why I enrolled MBA and not to pressure myself for a high grade! (I used an exclamation point) Did I mention why I went back to school again in the first place? Oh, it's because...how do I say this...Nagsasawa na po kasi ako sa mukha ng mga kasama ko sa araw araw, gusto ko makakakita ng iba naman mukha bukod sa pamilya, katrabaho, at yung mga matagal ko nang kaibigan, Ibang mukha naman!!!! Kidding! I love you all! :D But seriously, sino bang normal na inday ang ayaw ng MBA degree?

So kamusta ako, yung totoo? How am I, really?  My heart is  still heavy. I don't know when this heartache will be over but I'm really working hard to keep my spirits high, my attitude positive and my disposition all good to make my everyday living as best as I could. I'm learning to be grateful with the things I already have, and I feel like God has heard my prayers.

Until next time! xoxo -- Claire