Ay November Na Pala!

It's been ages na pala since my last blog post. I have been really busy about my life lately that I barely have time to update my online diary. I also stopped writing in my journal (courtesy of Mercury Drug) but it's almost filled with writings. There are only five pages left, I think.

So what happened while I was gone. I'm still opening my Reading List, still updated with my favorite blogs, Cup of Jo, Life Without Baby, Mommy Fleur, to name a few. Dami nila. I love their blogs. Naalala ko pa yung dream ko noon na magkaroon ng sikat na blog. Mangyayari pa kaya.

Anyway, highway, nakalimutan ko na yung iba pang ganap simula nung last blog post ko. Ordinary kemers lang naman. But the "ber" months were really huge changes in my life. Something happend in August. My husband and I had a conflict with one of his family member, his sis in law. I did not understand what her problem was. I only came up with a conclusion that she was probably stressed with all that she have on her shoulders - money problems, raising two young children, the pressures from people around her, and I don't know but maybe she had some issues with her life and she poured out all these frustrations to the people nearest to her - us. That was the time I decided and told my husband to find a place of our own and finally do not live with his family - my inlaws.

So aparment hunting kami, there were issues with the paasang kapitbahay/apartment owner until we finally found one just a ride away from everywhere, haha! The moving out and in was so refreshing, but the adjustment process, like any other adjustments, is difficult in the beginning.

But before we moved to a new home, our office moved to a new location, it's just one barangay from the old office, but, it's feels like it's in the outskirts of QC, hahaha! Going to work looks like I'm visiting my old aunt who lives in a decent residential area where you need to take a "special" trip of a tricycle because jeepneys do not pass along those roads, come to think that Sto Nino and Concepcion  are just two neighboring barangays in this place. If I going to spend 60 pesos as an additional fare, I kenat! That's one thousand two hundred a month, and no! I was not willing to spend that money for transportation so I decided I'd just walk going to work, and so I did. My morning routine took a hundred and eight degrees turn!

I thought the adjustment would be easy but I was wrong. I had an emotional breakdown and felt very little about myself. Something happened at work before we moved in to the new location, I half-blamed myself and I could feel that some people put the blame on me too. I realized a lot of things and I discovered a lot more with the people I work with. I could not concentrate on things, I worried a lot and somehow lost faith in myself (again) which I thought long before that I could overcome now. But I found myself in that place where I have been many times before - bottom. It really hurt that all the many good things that you have done, would be erased by one mistake not is not even your fault.

Now, I'm back to feeling good. Determined to achieve the (secret) goals that I have set. Though I skipped graduate school this semester because I think it added much extra weight to the burden I have been carrying, I have plans to continue it and really hope and pray to finish it.

On the other hand, I want to send this message to one of my good and oldest friend: Dear S, I really get upset when I text you and I don't get a text back, and even when it takes you hours or days before I get a response. I feel like you don't want me in your life anymore. You are one of the best people I have ever have in my life and I want to be your friend until we grow old and die. We are both busy most of the time with our own lives, but I just want to let you know that I will always be your friend even if you decided not to be my friend anymore. I will still be here. Just let me know if you need me.

Until next time.

Claire