Almost Forty…it’s been a while

I know. I have not blogged in a long while. I missed it. I really do. Sorry na. Minsan busy, madalas tinatamad, minsan feeling ko lang bobo na ko sa English. Kelan ba naging smart? Haha!

So…life has been. Yes, busy – with work. My partner in AP resigned in the middle of the work. And our super efficient in hiring new employees HR peeps has not hired a replacement until September. Ang bongga! So I worked extra time since I was alone doing all the tasks. FYI, AP, Accounts Payable, taga kemerut ng mga bayarin ng kumpanya. Galit sakin ang mga inuutangan ng kumpanya pag di nakabayad on time. Ako sumasalo ng mga sermon nila. Sila (blind item) sila na mga taga tanggap ng suhol (blind item) ang tagasalo ng biyaya. Pa ambon naman dyan! Haha!

So life has been. Busy, with house chores. I do all the chores by myself, but from time to time I ask for my husband’s help. But lately, he was able to do some without me asking. I’m going to celebrate this improvement. It’s been almost one year since we moved on our own (renting apartment) place since we lived with my in-laws in 2010. It felt so..liberating. It’s physically exhausting to maintain a clean and organized home but the peace and calm (talaga!) is priceless!

So that’s that! Work – home – work – home! Tired most of the time, but happy! The happy kind of tired! Life is not perfect, but who said it should be?! I don’t have lots of money (I need more) but I’m contented with my life right now. Still a little anxious about the future, but I’m okay with my life.

Right now. Most of the time my mind is occupied with how I’m going to make our small apartment look better and the few plants that I started to grow. I want our place to become so comfortable that when friends and family come to visit they want to stay longer. But since it’s a rented place, we have lots of limitation! (Like we cannot poke a hole on the wall!)

Recently I met up with a close friend. I was happy to see her. But part of me was a little bit disappointed. It looks like she judged me in a certain way. To her, I have a very easy and smooth sailing life. She even assumed that I’m now rich and have a big money tucked in a savings account. Part of me was glad that to her, I looked like that, but a big part of me was not. I was judged despite of the struggles of my life that I shared to her was nothing compared to her struggles. But still, she’s my friend and I know that someday, she would understand that what I have been through was just a part of life that’s just as difficult as her struggles.

I realized (again) that friendships really change as time go by. In a TED talk video, there's one entitled "Why mothers are miserable" I got curious so I watched it. According to the speaker, mothers were miserable because they lack the friendship and support of women friends. It's so ironic to me that mothers have the most exposure to female bonding. At their children's school, at work, community (like church, neighborhood) etc., they are instantly bonded by parenting they didn't need any ice breaker because they already have their common ground. Compared to us? The rare us (childless women, single or married in the late thirties and older) who finds it really difficult to make friends anywhere, everywhere because we are not mothers. Imagine us? They kenat. That is precisely the reason why.... never mind!

I don't know how to end this post. 

PS. I don't open my IG often because there are two persons whose posts spoils my day. I cannot unfollow them because "nakakahiya" but really the one - her face annoys me and her jeje captions. The other one, she's just OA, ang nega lang! Kakasira ng day. So ayun! 

Until next post.. :) kung may nagbasa nito, labyu!