Friday, June 9, 2017

Have I Lost My Blogging Mojo?

My blog is around four years old. But before this pink blog was born, I used to write in Multiply, which I'm sure the site the millennials does not know about.  I have another blogger account but because I have extra-terrestrial powers, I lost it!

What happened to me during those time I was not blogging? Besides procrastinating (if not genuinely busy), I have been feeling melancholic since the end of 2016 until the first quarter of 2017. If this is synchronized with getting old, then so be it. Let's face it. I'm facing it. I'm getting old. Getting rheumatic, melodramatic and emotionally unpredictable. If you guys agree then dance with me!

I love to write. I have not mastered to write beautifully but I do it anyway. I feel like part of me is not complete if I don't write something down. If' I'm not to write my thoughts, I'd write a line of a song that I can most relate to during the moment. 

Back to the not so distant past, I suspected myself of going through depression. I was lonely and I could not explain it. Maybe part of it was an ugly experience I could not share here but the loneliness was something I have never felt before. It was worse than my first years of psoriasis, infertility years, and the death of  my father. So bad that if I would not wake up the following morning it was okay because everything seemed so meaningless. It felt like my life had no purpose. And the worst part? I felt so alone. No one was there for me. The online friends would "seen" zoned me when I said "hi".

I was wrong. It was not depression. Thank God.

I'm good now. Not at my best yet, but I'm doing at least okay than yesterday. Working hard to put on a happy face and disposition every single day. I'm on my way there and I want my blogging energy back. Not just in blogging but in life general as well. I hope things will go well, and maybe even better soon. I hope and pray and hope and pray....

As of this writing, there's just too many things in my mind. But buy me some time, I'm just gathering myself up and be back bouncing with life and energy (I'm motivating myself)

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