Tuesday, March 13, 2018


Tinatamad ako mag blog kasi I'm feeling meh! ;p Ano ba yung ibig sabihin ng feeling meh? But I feel like feeling meh! Or feeling blah!

I feel so lazy and unmotivated to do anything. I have a pending school work, a group work, but instead I'm binge watching this old Korean drama about doctors. I liked it, I should do my school work, and let me see if I can motivate myself in the following days to do what should be done first.

I feel like crap in the past few days. Though I had tried to motivate myself to be grateful and anything, there were times when I can't help myself but allow me to feel this way. So I felt like crap.

How not to feel like crap? I don't know. I know that our emotions are temporary, so why does some feelings just won't ever go?

Is it because of my job? I don't know. How do I change careers ba? I don't like doing the same things over and over again. Though I'm grateful for my job because it helps me for my needs and family's, I feel like there's more to it than that. There's more to life than this!

I should be grateful, I know but....

There's more to life than this!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

My Love For Blogging

I was so happy last week when one of my favorite bloggers in the universe sent me an e-mail inviting me join her for a meet and greet together with her other readers. I was just so thrilled! I have been reading her blog for a long time, and this was not the first invite from her but I was too shy to go. I replied to her email telling her I have other commitments for that day, and she replied back telling me I could join the next batch. She was just so nice. Not all bloggers are kind to their readers. She really finds time to reach out to her followers. I so like her, she's now my idol and I am now her fan.

When I started this blog some years back, I met some fellow women who blog, like me, for a hobby. Recently, I visited their blogs and they're not active anymore. Their last posts were years ago. I wonder how are they doing in their lives now. I wish I have met them in person. I wonder what it feels like to meet people you only met and spoken to online. The idea sounds exciting to me.

Many years back, I have met someone online because of our common love for music, and when we met face to face, it was nice. There was definitely that connection that I thought we only had through our computers. 

I have been following many blogs, mostly women from US, Europe, and one or two from Canada and Australia. I like it that I learn many things from them besides blogging, but mostly about life. I feel like I am already part of their lives just by reading their blogs, and though it sounds almost impossible, I dream to meet them in person. Have coffee with them while talking about our lives outside our blogs.

I have been writing in through my blogs for less than ten years, and I think I will do this for the rest of my life. It's like I have a best friend who's always there for me no matter what.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Love Sick

Let me explain the title first. That only means today is the love month, as many have called it, and I have been sick because this colds and fever have been really persistent for one week now. I did not attend my classes this Saturday because I needed a rest. I could not afford stress that time. I was supposed to be reporting for one of my subjects, but I messaged one of my groupmate that I could not come to class. I spent the whole day lying in bed, and written some notes when I got bored.

I started prioritizing my health. When I feel like I need rest, I would take rest. But sometimes, there are other important things to get done so the challenge arises. I hate being sick. It makes me feel vulnerable and emotional. That day I felt inexplicably sad. I felt like crying, there was even that moment when I felt like I was dying. Yes, I was overreacting and overthinking things again, but I managed to shoo away that thought immediately. I later realized that maybe I have taken my loved ones for granted, so I posted a line from a Meghan Trainor song in my Facebook timeline (which by the way I rarely do ;p)

Let's take our time
To say what we want
Use what we got
Before it's all gone
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow

Sunday came I was feeling a bit better. In the afternoon, my husband and I went out for a short trip to the nearest mall to buy something. We ate at the food court of the mall some Turks meal, they were good but the beef was not the tenderest. Not bad for a meal less than one hundred pesos. 

I dropped by National Bookstore to just roam around, check books and cute stuff, and I ended up buying some colored pens. Ballpens make me happy. So if you want to make me happy buy me ballpens, colored ones, okay?!

And last but not the least, I bought this book below, for my husband. No! I know what you are thinking right now, that he is a bad husband and he needs this book so bad. I don't intend it that way. I bought this because, first I think it's an easy read for someone who is not into reading. See, I want my husband to discover the joy and amazing benefits of reading so I guess this little book is a good start. He knows my intention, so I hope we will reap both the benefit, if he finished to read this book, and ask me to buy him another (which I'm planning Bob Ong) :)

As of this very moment, I'm still having runny nose, the liquid is yellowish, I have used one roll of toilet paper. I still feel a little feverish, my head feels like floating in air and I want to blame it to that darn aircondition in front of me!

Happy weekdays all! 

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Because Today is February 1 I Need To Post Something

I don't know why, but this time I felt happy that another month has passed me by even if there was really nothing significant I had done for the past thirty one days. I'm just glad that it's over. Oh I know! It's maybe because I don't like January! 

So, for the past weeks I started reading a book called Awaken The Giant Within. This is not a new release, it's been in the circulation for ages. It's just only now I have the opportunity to read it. I love it so far. It's sort of enlightening in many ways, compared to other self-help books I read. I have only read almost half, I can't have much time to read it because I also have to read other stuff for my schooling. At this point in my life, I need to devote more time and motivate myself to read more, more and more.

I wish I could spend time watching some tv series or spend the weekend watching movies, but no, I can't afford that. Time is preciously allotted for work, my loved ones, school, and self improvement related things that is associated to getting my MBA degree (if graduate school environment could help me gain the confidence that I needed in my life, I would write a book about that in the future!) 

So, nothing much. I have been spending lesser and lesser time and energy for the people who makes me feel unworthy and useless. I stopped giving a f*ck!

And my journalling? It doesn't look like art, but give me some time, I'm learning to make it look better.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Pause and Blog

Stop! Stop everything I’m doing now and blog for a few minutes. I have been quite busy. Work piled up starting this month and I was too lazy to attend my classes on the first Saturday of this year. The night before I had contemplated if my decision to enroll for this program was right. I forgot that I had a home work that should be done during the holiday break  and it made my body, mind, and spirit to be too unwilling to report back to school for the next day. I almost cried. But still I got up early and went anyway. The day went fine, except that I had to present my report for my assigned topic in one of my subjects for the next meeting, which I was expecting this to be happening in February. This made the next week of my life busier. I was never interested in government whereabouts. But since it’s school stuff I have to go through it and go get some knowledge about government budgets. Thank you Google, you are heaven-sent!

I am most uncomfortable with speaking in front of many people. This is the most challenging part of my student life, even in my undergraduate years a long time ago. Ask me to do a research about any topic and write about it with at least five hundred words, but standing in front of around thirty people from different industries in all level in the corporate and academic world and presenting a topic is just too scary for me. I’m glad I have done three, and there’s more to come.

There’s nothing special about January, I don’t really like this month. But what surprised me was there were two gifts that came. Well, Christmas never ends. Both were unexpected, and it made me really happy. So it’s true that when you start being grateful, and sharing your blessings to the people around you, it will all come back to you in many unexpected ways. And most of the time, it’s not the material value of such things, but it’s the amazing and surprising way it happens.  If you are surrounded by kind and generous people, it’s not difficult to become one.

In the past years, I have been so oblivious about the many good things I have in my life and fretting (even crying) over the things I do not have. But life has a way of teaching me lessons. I have learned, well, the hard way, but still grateful that now I know I am blessed in many ways I could not count. Thank you God!  

Back to regular programming! 

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Dear Stalker (if I have any)

I don't have a stalker. It's different than having suspicions that someone is stalking my life through social media, but since there is no proof or confirmation to that, I am stating that I don't have a stalker. And a suspect is innocent until proven guilty, lol! Who would stalk me anyway? I don't know. But I have feelings that someone, a female, is watching my life via Facebook and Instagram. I wish she knows about this blog so she won't be having a hard time! Haha!

So if I have a stalker, this message is for you:

Dear _______,

You have no idea how much I would appreciate that someone not related by blood, or any friendly relationship is interested in my life. You know what, why don't you send me a message so we could be more than just FB friends. I would love that! This is not sarcastic. I am very much willing to make friends with anybody in or outside my Facebook timeline or Instagram feeds. 

I'm only sorry that I am not very active in Facebook and I just deactivated my Instagram because it's too distracting. I decided to devote the spare time on my new hobby - journalling. Yes, I am a beginner to planners and I am enjoying it, and working to fill the entire notebook for 2018. I am trying to squeeze any creative juice from my body, the start was not pretty, but I'm getting there, and guess what I am willing to share some few pages to my friends. And I want you to be my friend, if you are willing to be my friend too :)

Besides this blog, my life is now in the beautiful pages of my journal from Mercury (not the planet, the drugstore :)). What many people do not know about me is that I'm an introvert. I don't talk a lot, and this is what makes other people think I'm snob, or too uninterested with anyone but myself, but the truth is I'm just more comfortable alone or with the people I'm closed with. 

Anyway, like I said, if you are stalking me why don't you come out in the open. I would not mind. If we are not friends in real life, I don't mind to have a new one since I only have few friends. I'm not very good at giving advice but I'm a good listener and can keep secrets. Yes. I can keep secrets, I promise you that and to all the gods and goddesses of Mt Olympus. 

Stop stalking! My life is so simple there's nothing gossip-worthy about it. I am just your average female there's nothing to be jealous or envious about. I may look okay all the time but like any normal person, I have struggles and insecurities too that I'm trying to turn these experiences for my growth instead of destruction. In simple words, I am always striving hard to improve myself because there's still so much to improve in every aspect of my life.

And stop stalking anybody in social media. Too much of it is not good for our mental health. Why don't you try journalling too, or blogging like me. Trust me it's so therapeutic! :)

Oh, is journalling double L or single L? Too lazy to Google! :)

Have a nice day!


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