Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Blog It 52 - 2 My 2017 Reading List

In my early years in college, I developed love for reading fiction in English. It was in high school when I started to read Tagalog romance novels we used to rent for five pesos during weekends. By accident I had read one Nancy Drew The Ghost in the Blackwood Hall (hep, I did not google, this is just based on my memory, is this right?)  book, and that's where it all began.

Back then, I had no one to borrow books from. I did not have any friends who read a lot and owned many books so I had to content myself with borrowing books from the library and read them if there were long weekends. During those times when internet was not yet popular, I had limited choices of books to read.  I told myself when I graduate and found a job, I would buy myself books and read everything I ever wanted.

But that did not happen. Books were expensive, my salary was small, and I only contented myself with what I could afford,  so was my love for reading had started to die ( or rather ignored it). But now I'm glad there's internet - thank God for this wonder! I don't need to list down what it can do to a book lover, do I? :) And jeez, ebooks are fantastic! I can read while waiting for my turn at the supermarket counters!

Anyway, I cannot make a list of what to read for 2017 but I do have plans of reading more than I did in the past years. I have my phone, an ebook reader app and some few ebooks that are still waiting to be opened. I still have some paperbacks at home collecting dusts and just waiting for me to touch them! All I needed to do is to just find some time, lol!

My goals is to read three books in a month. Yes, only three because I'm a slow reader and still learning how to read fast. My job, some personal stuff, and social life (like I have one!) and the need for more sleep steal some of my reading time. I will try to make a list of those I have finished reading, and published it here, If the stars will align in my favor, I would even make a review, lol!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Blog It 52 - 1 New Year Resolution, Projects or Goals

Getting the idea from March to December's Blog-It 52  where I am taking the challenge to post one entry a week (keeping my fingers crossed). I think this is a really good one for me who, most of the time, don't know what to write.

For the first week of the year, I am supposed to make a post about new year resolution, project or goal. I'm not the type who makes new year's resolutions because I find it very hard to discipline myself, so I guess that should be my resolution. Discipline myself. And, uhm don't procrastinate, lol!

As for projects, I cannot think of any. I am not a crafty person and the only project I have been keeping is this blog that even until now has not improved yet, lol! 

As for goals, late last year I have been thinking of taking up MBA. I realized I needed something to boost my self-confidence career wise. I can say that as of now, I am eighty percent decided to enroll and finish master's degree. I hope I'd be able to keep myself motivated. 

I have also been reading a lot of articles about self-improvement. I know there's so much in myself to improve so I'm taking little steps at a time, and I can feel some progress and it makes me more motivated to help myself to become a better me.

I hope that at the end of 2017, I'd be able to be proud that I have accomplished these goals. Good luck to me! :)

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Closing Time

This year, I turned thirty six. Okay, this is probably a stupid way to begin my last post for the year since aging one year in a year is obvious. Okay, I need to work harder to improve my writing/blogging, and that is, coming up with a very nice title should be included. You see I borrowed that Semisonic song for my year end post title. Yep, a little too early for a year end post but that's because December is a busy month and I don't get a lot of internet access at home because I blog at work (this should be a secret, hush) and I'm just too lazy to blog this month but I need to give myself some credit for the effort! (Nice self)

"Every  new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". 

Am I the only one who gets a little over dramatic with each ending to beginning a new revolution of the earth around the sun? I hope not. I hope it is perfectly normal. This is just the perfect time to assess the past three hundred and sixty five point twenty five days to make the next year better. The past year's events, the outcome of the plans and decisions are a good basis for creating new ones. But then, again, life is full of surprises!

So what do I post now? What was my 2016 like? I won't say I had the best year of my life because it was not a really good year to me but I'm grateful and thankful for everything that I had gone through. It made me a better woman that I was in 2015. This year has been a little difficult in some aspect of my life. I had once again experienced emotionally hitting the bottom without anyone knowing about it. This year dreams were still elusive and.

I did not have any courage to share the burden with anyone for the fear of being judged

and seeking for help was not something I has mastered to do. This year, I had been afraid. This year, I thought I'd played safe.

But despite the not so good year, I am thankful and grateful. Those moments where I felt so utterly alone had me realized I am stronger than I thought I was. Those times when I felt myself lacking in what everything seemed like could make my life complete, I learned sympathy, empathy, and gratitude. Those moments when I had separated myself from people whom I thought cared for me, I sought God without questioning and bargaining. I realized I could not change a lot of things, but to look at things in a better perspective.

I had been less religious but I still feel a deep desire to get a much deeper relationship with God, and I believed that did not need a religion. This year, I felt a sense of freedom from what the path that the world has expected me to tread, by learning from other women's experiences through their online journal where they selflessly shared their struggles.

Dear Lord, I thank You for the gift of life, for the loving people You blessed me with and these experiences that taught me to always believe and have faith in You, and to trust myself that I can do so much better with the life You gave me by always seeking for Your guidance.

As of this writing, I don't have any concrete plans for the next year yet. I am good at planning but bad at the execution part. By the time this post get published, I'm probably lying in my bed catching up with my reading back logs.

I guess I have said enough, and please bear with me while I use this picture of myself below because I'm wearing my favorite worn out shirt. Hahaha! Happy Holidays!

Xoxo - Claire

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

2016 Is Almost Over, What Have I Done?

Feeling that old little feeling when people starts counting down for Christmas? I know right. But for couple of days now, I feel like "  a hell, what have I done with the past ten months?" this loud voice screaming in my head.

Despite my very best efforts to do the best I can and not procrastinate, I failed. Self, sorry, once again I failed you, and I'm so ashamed. I had all the energy at the start, but eventually it fades. Circumstances, challenges, and problems small, medium, and almost large kept crawling in and in an instant, my focus was gone.

I promised myself to read more to and write more so my English and writing would improve,but I miserably failed. I'm stalking a lot of blogs, read their every post, and envy the way they write. I get inspired but still, I don't think I have improved that much. Though I enjoy reading and updating my blog, I know to myself that I have wasted a lot of time.

Only few close friends (and I doubt if any in my family) knows about this blog. I don't really share this on Facebook. I put a link in my profile but I doubt if anyone bothers to click or check it out. I'd be happy if anyone did, and please if you happen to find this blog, let me know through my FB messenger I'd be really really happy! :)

I know I was not the best wife, daughter, aunt, sister, friend, co-worker and some other roles I play but I am trying my best every day to be the best version of myself every day. I should probably try and work harder to be better, than ever. Please forgive me. To my loved ones - my husband, my family and extended family, and friends, I love you all more than you thought of, Most of the time it doesn't show but you are the reason why I'm here in this world, and I'm doing all I can to be always there for you. I hope you'd be able to read this.

Work Life.
I don't know what to say. As much as possible I want to keep all the whining to myself but hey, I guess I have the right. This is my blog. This air conditioning behind my back is tormenting me. It give me frequent back aches. I call it my tormentor. It sucks all the happiness inside of me. At the end of the day, I get all exhausted and a little depressed. All because of this effing air conditioning! And to that someone whom I used to hold grudges to, I have worked hard and tried to please you. But I guess I can never really please you. So I'll stop and just do the best I could, and if you're not happy with it I'm sorry because I'm not perfect. I don't know if I can be friends with you because it's so awkward.

Life In General.
At this point in my life, I have come to realization that life isn't really about having everything we wanted and hoped for. Ten years ago, all my plans were different from the kind of life that I have now. I can say that my life I was diverted to a far different path than what I planned it to be. That life consists of a roller coaster of emotions. It repeats over and over in different situations,but then you have all the power to chose whether you dwell with it, get carried away, or let it pass until one roll is over. I will live my life because I still have a lot of reasons to wake up and go out each morning. The people I love and the things that matter. It's my life!

Cheers to a very meaningful 2017!

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

One Quick Post Before October Ends

Before the week ends, I decided to do just one quick post (composed in around fifteen minutes) because I'd be having a long weekend this end of October. I'm afraid I'd be missing out on some posts of my favorite bloggers (there's plenty of them, believe me, and I just discovered two more bloggers from the US that I hope I have more time to read their entire blog:). I am continuously searching for bloggers who will inspire me to improve my blog even more. I have started this blog some years ago, and to my disappointed I don't think it has improved at all. Ugh! There's so much to learn :)

These past couple of days, I am more determined to update my blog. I find pleasure in doing it even if I'm sure not even my husband reads it (though I don't remember telling him I have this blog), haha! But one of these days I'd probably force him to and threaten him for a hunger strike if he doesn't. He should be my number one loyal reader, right? :)

This coming 2017, ( I have actually started yesterday hahaha) I have committed to live my life to the fullest, and blog it! I have no idea how I will do it but I'd find ways somehow and live life one day at a time. Gosh, is this getting old in simple words? And I guess I should have done this long before, but yeah, life and experiences really are our greatest teachers, yes? So in general, life has taught me so much, big time!

Anyway, that's all for now. Happy Halloween in advance and enjoy the rest of October!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Random Thoughts

I have been feeling awful for the past few days. I don't know, I guess sometimes it's normal that we need to go through this sometimes. Where despite my efforts to keep positive thoughts all the time, it would have to go down and feel low and get tried keeping that positive spirits.

I feel sick right now. I can feel a slight fever building up, probably because of this darned AC behind me that spits cold air straight to my back without giving me a warning. I know, sounds stupid! And I know this sounds a little selfish, but I am silently wishing that this darned AC would break for two weeks, and would not get fixed even by an expert technician. Yeah, I'm bad right, but my back can't take it anymore. I hope they would forgive me.

Life is just absurd. Sometimes its jokes are not funny anymore. I don't feel good lately. I wish this would pass sooner. Earlier this morning I prayed to God to give me strength to get through the day. So help me God.

There are days where I feel like just spending time with my friend over coffee and just laugh and talk about life. I wish someone would just ask me out. A friend, coffee and laugh. Milk tea will do good :)
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