Tuesday, November 15, 2016

2016 Is Almost Over, What Have I Done?


Feeling that old little feeling when people starts counting down for Christmas? I know right. But for couple of days now, I feel like "  a hell, what have I done with the past ten months?" this loud voice screaming in my head.

Despite my very best efforts to do the best I can and not procrastinate, I failed. Self, sorry, once again I failed you, and I'm so ashamed. I had all the energy at the start, but eventually it fades. Circumstances, challenges, and problems small, medium, and almost large kept crawling in and in an instant, my focus was gone.


Blogging 
I promised myself to read more to and write more so my English and writing would improve,but I miserably failed. I'm stalking a lot of blogs, read their every post, and envy the way they write. I get inspired but still, I don't think I have improved that much. Though I enjoy reading and updating my blog, I know to myself that I have wasted a lot of time.

Only few close friends (and I doubt if any in my family) knows about this blog. I don't really share this on Facebook. I put a link in my profile but I doubt if anyone bothers to click or check it out. I'd be happy if anyone did, and please if you happen to find this blog, let me know through my FB messenger I'd be really really happy! :)


Relationships
I know I was not the best wife, daughter, aunt, sister, friend, co-worker and some other roles I play but I am trying my best every day to be the best version of myself every day. I should probably try and work harder to be better, than ever. Please forgive me. To my loved ones - my husband, my family and extended family, and friends, I love you all more than you thought of, Most of the time it doesn't show but you are the reason why I'm here in this world, and I'm doing all I can to be always there for you. I hope you'd be able to read this.

Work Life.
I don't know what to say. As much as possible I want to keep all the whining to myself but hey, I guess I have the right. This is my blog. This air conditioning behind my back is tormenting me. It give me frequent back aches. I call it my tormentor. It sucks all the happiness inside of me. At the end of the day, I get all exhausted and a little depressed. All because of this effing air conditioning! And to that someone whom I used to hold grudges to, I have worked hard and tried to please you. But I guess I can never really please you. So I'll stop and just do the best I could, and if you're not happy with it I'm sorry because I'm not perfect. I don't know if I can be friends with you because it's so awkward.

Life In General.
At this point in my life, I have come to realization that life isn't really about having everything we wanted and hoped for. Ten years ago, all my plans were different from the kind of life that I have now. I can say that my life I was diverted to a far different path than what I planned it to be. That life consists of a roller coaster of emotions. It repeats over and over in different situations,but then you have all the power to chose whether you dwell with it, get carried away, or let it pass until one roll is over. I will live my life because I still have a lot of reasons to wake up and go out each morning. The people I love and the things that matter. It's my life!

Cheers to a very meaningful 2017!



Wednesday, October 26, 2016

One Quick Post Before October Ends


Before the week ends, I decided to do just one quick post (composed in around fifteen minutes) because I'd be having a long weekend this end of October. I'm afraid I'd be missing out on some posts of my favorite bloggers (there's plenty of them, believe me, and I just discovered two more bloggers from the US that I hope I have more time to read their entire blog:). I am continuously searching for bloggers who will inspire me to improve my blog even more. I have started this blog some years ago, and to my disappointed I don't think it has improved at all. Ugh! There's so much to learn :)


These past couple of days, I am more determined to update my blog. I find pleasure in doing it even if I'm sure not even my husband reads it (though I don't remember telling him I have this blog), haha! But one of these days I'd probably force him to and threaten him for a hunger strike if he doesn't. He should be my number one loyal reader, right? :)

This coming 2017, ( I have actually started yesterday hahaha) I have committed to live my life to the fullest, and blog it! I have no idea how I will do it but I'd find ways somehow and live life one day at a time. Gosh, is this getting old in simple words? And I guess I should have done this long before, but yeah, life and experiences really are our greatest teachers, yes? So in general, life has taught me so much, big time!

Anyway, that's all for now. Happy Halloween in advance and enjoy the rest of October!


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Random Thoughts


I have been feeling awful for the past few days. I don't know, I guess sometimes it's normal that we need to go through this sometimes. Where despite my efforts to keep positive thoughts all the time, it would have to go down and feel low and get tried keeping that positive spirits.


I feel sick right now. I can feel a slight fever building up, probably because of this darned AC behind me that spits cold air straight to my back without giving me a warning. I know, sounds stupid! And I know this sounds a little selfish, but I am silently wishing that this darned AC would break for two weeks, and would not get fixed even by an expert technician. Yeah, I'm bad right, but my back can't take it anymore. I hope they would forgive me.

Life is just absurd. Sometimes its jokes are not funny anymore. I don't feel good lately. I wish this would pass sooner. Earlier this morning I prayed to God to give me strength to get through the day. So help me God.

There are days where I feel like just spending time with my friend over coffee and just laugh and talk about life. I wish someone would just ask me out. A friend, coffee and laugh. Milk tea will do good :)

Monday, October 17, 2016

Memories Of Baguio City

It was only lately I realized what I have been missing a lot by not going on trips outside my home town. Back then I have never dreamed to travel even if it becomes something I can afford, or best if its free. I'm a homebody. Happiness to me is peace and quiet, food and books at the comfort of my home during holidays and no work days with my loved ones. But, as they say, things change. February of 2016, I got the chance to have a weekend trip to Baguio with my friends at work. It was a cheap DIY weekend trip, for two nights and three days, spent less than two thousand pesos on room and transportation, of eight non-blood related people but treat each other like family, it was definitely a very memorable first for me.

The view from our rented house.

It's been months, and a little too late to blog it in Ber months, but like I always tell you, "better late than later". We left around 10 pm on a Thursday and reached Baguio around three am. It was colder than I imagined. I thought I needed three layers of clothes to avoid my knees from shaking.

The beautiful trees at the Ketchup Food Community
Our first stop was the Ketchup Food Community for breakfast. Inside this compound are number of affordable restaurants where you can choose according to your budget and taste.  We ate here at Rancho where they served mostly Filipino dish. The food was affordable and good. The place was clean (except for a few flies that's just probably normal for a non air-conditioned place) but it took a little long while to get our orders served.



After breakfast we went to the Baguio Botanical Garden. Most tourist never leave the place without a picture at this spot with these elderly people. Don't worry, you can afford their talent fees ;)


The flowers were starting to bloom at that time (a couple of weeks before the Panagbenga Festival). The sun was trying its best to peak every now and then but  mostly it was just the clouds that dominated the sky. In short the weather was just perfect. I had to wear my sweater because it felt cold when the sun was hiding even if it was noon time.




The locals were all friendly and smiley people. Several times we had to ask for directions and never we were given cold shoulders and snobbish replies. The city is cold and busy, but definitely not the people who visits their home. You would definitely feel very welcome.






Probably one of the reasons why I would come back to Baguio again is this strawberry taho. I loved taho as a child, but  as I grew older, I rarely eat this anymore. My first time to ever tried it in strawberry flavor and I loved it. I hope we have it in Manila, but no. Strawberry is kind of costly there. There's taho vendor everywhere in Baguio so it's not hard to miss it during our visit.


I had a really great time in Baguio and I wish I could go back again this time with my husband. My most favorite place in the whole city was probably Camp John Hay. You might want to guess why. Yes, because of the lovely trees! :)


We had an awesome time there, the surroundings was perfect for picture taking. The place was so peaceful, cool air and birds singing it made me want to just lie on the grass and look up at the clear bright sky.


We also visited Mines View Park and bought goodies at Good Shepherd Convent where the the view is as breath-taking as well. So, that's about it. This post has been sitting in my draft for months already. I just love to go back to Baguio and next time it will be together with my family this time. 

Until next time..

xoxo,
Claire


Friday, September 30, 2016

Hinulugang Taktak National Park Today

Nakakahiyang aminin, nine years na akong nakatira sa Antipolo pero lately ko lang nabisita ang Hinulugang Taktak.  Pero sabi nga nila, better late than later...

 At naisip ko na hindi ko rin masisi ang self ko kung bakit never ko binalak na pumunta dito noon. Many years ago kasi, (mga panahong hindi pa uso ang Facebook) puro pangit ang naririnig ko about Hinulugang Taktak. Kesyo madumi, madami basura floating in the river, mabaho, panget, panget at panget. Kaya ayun, siguro ito yung natanim sa isip ko. Pero one time, there's a voice inside me that tells me to visit the place, so yan, sometime in August 2016, sinama ko ang jowa kong kaladkarin at nakita ko for the fist time ang Hinulugang Taktak! And this is how it looks like today:


It was more beautiful than what I imagine it to be, or from what I've seen on tv and pictures. Nakakabighani ang waterfalls. Na imagine ko tuloy kung ano ang hitsura nito noong araw, baka pwedeng ipangtapat sa Niagara. 

Photo below ang daan patungo sa falls right at the entrace. Dito pa lang maririnig mo na ang tunog ng falls na very relaxing to the senses. Yun lang, kasabay din ng pagpasok mo may something smelly na you know that's coming from the waters. Pero tolerable naman yung baho aroma. Not sure if it's just me pero nawala din yung smell after a few minutes or na immune lang ang ilong ko.


Walang entrace fee dito. Malinis ang paligid, halatang may nag me maintain ng cleanliness, orderliness, and bongganess.  Sa entrance may mga uniformed personnel na may logbook na nakahanda para sa mga papasyal. Halos walang tao nung time na pumunta kami kaya tahimik ang lugar. Maraming punong malalaki at may mga birds pang humuhuni na ikinasaya ko ng bongga! Oh you know I love nature so much! 


Dahil sa kapayapaan ng paligid sinamantala kong mag ala model in a music video. Dito sa bridge na ito, sinamantala kong mag emote at mag conmtemplating-about-life pose habang nagpapanggap na hindi ko alam na pini picturan ako para sa mas madramang effect. Tagumpay naman. Sa ganda ng surroundings effortless ang pag eemote ko. Hahaha!

May mga cottages din para sa mga gustong mag picnic. Pero naghahanap ako ng basurahan, wala akong nakita. Saan kaya magtatapon ng basura? Inassume ko na lang na iuuwi mo yung mga kalat na dinala mo. Sige itatanong natin yan sa next punta ko. But the important is bawal magtapon ng kalat kung saan saan. Hello naman, tinuturo naman ito kinder palang diba?? (Nakataas kilay ko)



At para sa mga gustong mag isip kung paano iwawasto ang mga pagkakamaling nagawa nila sa buhay nila, may Meditation Area para sa inyo. Dito mo ibuhos lahat ng nilalaman ng puso mo habang nakatitig sa agos ng tubig at nakikinig sa huni ng mga ibong nagbabalik  ng masasaklap na alala at sugat na dinulot ng mapait na nakaraan... Hep tigil muna ang drama...Hihihi!



Meron ding pool sa loob ng park, may restrooms and shower rooms na perfect for a weekend family get-togetherness. Just inquire at the uniformed people in the area or you can call the city office kung may bayad or free. Ininspeksyon ko ang mga banyo, okay naman! Malinis ang pool, hindi nga lang masyado malaki pero pwede na. 



May wide space din na perfect for your playful little children. Pwede silang maghabulan dito hanggang sa mapagod at magutom sila. And all around was surrounded with a nice landscape na pa mountain char ang drama.



So what are you waiting for? Make sure you visit the park when in Antipolo. This is the second most visited spot in the city, next to the cathedral. Who knows, sa mga single baka dito nyo na mahanap ang forever nyo. Sa mga may asawa baka dito nyo mahuli ang kabit ng mister nyo, joke lang!. At sa mga tulad ko na naghahanap ng perfect backdrop for your Instagram photo, this is the place!!



xoxo,
Claire

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Dear Ex-Friend

It's been a long time. I remember the old days when we were in school. I had this heavy mix of emotions as I recall those days we spent together. I was happy, but remembering them now, it felt odd.

Why this letter? I have doubts you would ever find this, but this is the only way I know to let this out. For the first and last time.  Somehow, I felt like you needed to know. After all these years.

It all came back when I saw a photo of myself wearing a blue shirt and red sneakers. I told myself you would hate or laugh at me because you were such a monochromatic person. I wasn't. I smiled at myself because for sure you would tell me I looked like the Philippine flag. And then memories came all flooding back...


Our friendship had a wonderful start. We instantly clicked like twins separated at birth and had only met for the first time at age seventeen. The two of us and the rest of our friends were like pieces of a puzzle that perfectly fit when put together. And I want to thank you for those happy moments...


Later then when school was over, and real life began for all of us, our friendship was tested by time and, probably change. Many things had happened that I thought to myself maybe I had only misinterpreted your actions, or the words you said so I let it all pass by and never held it against you. But at the end I only realized that you did not really change. That was what you really were to me all along. 


I didn't hate you. I hated the way you treated me and I was hurt like hell. I was miserable when I was jobless, and all I got was you on the phone talking about your glorious job and told me only those with the nicest smiles could join your company. That was one of the worst so I decided that maybe you were not the right person to run to when I needed comfort. It was a little too late to realize...

Years ran by, and after many desperate attempts to avoid you (that I had succeeded in most) I never lost the hope that things would change for the better. And they did. But you, did not. I still felt that same feeling when we're together that it wasn't a genuine love and respect for a friend that was supposed to be there from the very beginning. It almost came down to thinking you were just insecure, but who was I to ever thought of that.  It never really felt home with you. All I ever wanted was to run away from your presence all the time. It never felt right anymore.


Past forward to now, as I am typing this, I am okay with or without you, with the memories of the past, and our relationship now that I had painfully worked hard on.  And I'm glad about it. The pain and grudges are long gone and surely it will never come back because that chapter in my life has been closed already. It took me completing two stages of grief, and quite a number of self-pity to become the strong person that I have become to finally let go of that ugly part of my life which was our so-called friendship. 


I'd probably see you occasionally, maybe share drinks (in our case food) with you and come home not even thinking about the past anymore. I'm happy. I hope you are happy with your life too. And if fate and circumstance allow, we could start fresh and be good friends. But not for now. Because the wounds are healed but the scars are still clear. I wish you all the best in life!


Xoxo,
Claire





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