Thursday, January 18, 2018

Dear Stalker (if I have any)

I don't have a stalker. It's different than having suspicions that someone is stalking my life through social media, but since there is no proof or confirmation to that, I am stating that I don't have a stalker. And a suspect is innocent until proven guilty, lol! Who would stalk me anyway? I don't know. But I have feelings that someone, a female, is watching my life via Facebook and Instagram. I wish she knows about this blog so she won't be having a hard time! Haha!

So if I have a stalker, this message is for you:

Dear _______,

You have no idea how much I would appreciate that someone not related by blood, or any friendly relationship is interested in my life. You know what, why don't you send me a message so we could be more than just FB friends. I would love that! This is not sarcastic. I am very much willing to make friends with anybody in or outside my Facebook timeline or Instagram feeds. 

I'm only sorry that I am not very active in Facebook and I just deactivated my Instagram because it's too distracting. I decided to devote the spare time on my new hobby - journalling. Yes, I am a beginner to planners and I am enjoying it, and working to fill the entire notebook for 2018. I am trying to squeeze any creative juice from my body, the start was not pretty, but I'm getting there, and guess what I am willing to share some few pages to my friends. And I want you to be my friend, if you are willing to be my friend too :)

Besides this blog, my life is now in the beautiful pages of my journal from Mercury (not the planet, the drugstore :)). What many people do not know about me is that I'm an introvert. I don't talk a lot, and this is what makes other people think I'm snob, or too uninterested with anyone but myself, but the truth is I'm just more comfortable alone or with the people I'm closed with. 

Anyway, like I said, if you are stalking me why don't you come out in the open. I would not mind. If we are not friends in real life, I don't mind to have a new one since I only have few friends. I'm not very good at giving advice but I'm a good listener and can keep secrets. Yes. I can keep secrets, I promise you that and to all the gods and goddesses of Mt Olympus. 

Stop stalking! My life is so simple there's nothing gossip-worthy about it. I am just your average female there's nothing to be jealous or envious about. I may look okay all the time but like any normal person, I have struggles and insecurities too that I'm trying to turn these experiences for my growth instead of destruction. In simple words, I am always striving hard to improve myself because there's still so much to improve in every aspect of my life.

And stop stalking anybody in social media. Too much of it is not good for our mental health. Why don't you try journalling too, or blogging like me. Trust me it's so therapeutic! :)

Oh, is journalling double L or single L? Too lazy to Google! :)

Have a nice day!


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Hello 2018! (What I Should Title My First Post for 2018)

I'm typing from my office computer. It's lunch break. The lights are out and I still have twenty minutes to spare. Most people are still on vacation but I'm not jealous. I'm happy with the past few days I was able to spend with my family.

The weather is perfect outside. It must be rainy in some part of the archipelago. I love it when the sun do not glare at me like it's throwing all its energy. I love it when the clouds are drifting by like they are shielding me from the heat. It's just so perfect outside.

Fresh start. Clean slate. I'm not a "new year, new me" fan but I love the "brand new start" ideas, only that you can start doing it anytime. Not every after three hundred sixty five days. The goal or willingness to make a change can be started once anyone decides to do it. So if I feel like I'm tired of something and want to change it, I'll do it now. Because time is important, and if it's something good, there's no better time than do it now!

But for the sake of new year, I'm going to make some new years resolutions. That would be to read more and write more because I really wanted to improve my writing. And to use all the pages of my recently acquired 2018 planner. And last, my quest to keep on improving myself continues. I am looking forward to a better version of me in the coming years.

And, also, before I forget, I will still keep on being grateful for life everyday. I believe that all the blessing that God has already prepared for me is just out there waiting for me to receive them. I thank God for all these wonderful things He gave and done for me. Thank you God!

Let me end this post with a quote I have found from one of my favorite blogs:

" Instead of treating myself like something broken that needed fixing, I began looking for my potential and making progress with the things I’m doing right."  - Lisa Manterfield

I have been learning to love myself the right way because only then I can learn to give more love to the people who matters (and even those who don't) in my life.

Happy new year to all!

Thursday, December 28, 2017

So Long 2017!

A few more days, another year is overr!! Like overrr, like that! :) I had so much drama this year, I don't want to end it with a post that's even more dramatic!

This wasn't a good year, but I'm still thankful because of the lessons I learned from my experiences. I have so many realizations about my life, and well, this world that we live in! Charot!

This year, I finally have my passport. Though I don't see any out-of-the-country opportunity for me in the near future, the passport makes me feel more human. Like human human! ;p

This year, I found out that I will never really outgrow my introversion. I feel best when I'm alone most of the time. I recharged better with regular Me Time.

This year, I learned from people. I learned who's true to me versus those are just there because they benefit from me. Though I'd love to help people, and I appreciate it if they think of me when they need help, I won't let people abuse me.

This 2017...well, not a good year, but I'm thankful! I'm getting used to the pain of being ignored by people who I thought cared about me, who I thought were true to me, but I think I should just forget about them and move on with my life and be grateful and focus on the things, and people that truly matter.

This year, I'm going to use a planner. I hope to fill it all up with my whatabouts! Hahahah!

Looking forward to a so much better 2018. I know it will be! And I hope the same for you too, if there's anyone who bothered to read :)

Monday, December 18, 2017

Mid December: One of The Busiest Weeks

I had an exhausting week last week. Parties, buying stuff, buying gifts, a free Star Wars screening we could not miss, the baddest traffic you'll ever stuck in (thank God I don't work in Manila) so I ended up not attending my classes last Saturday because I've been stuck in bed all day after doing my laundry. The cold weather knocked me down all day, I took advantage of re-reading an Emily Giffin romance I had read many years ago. She's such a light read, perfect for a lazy day! I think I had regained my energy.

A few more days and it's Christmas. I had already received two solicitations (you know those people who asks for "pamasko"  or gifts that usually meant money. I get pressured because the other one requests for a serious amount of money, and the other one made it sound like I have an obligation to give them something because they are poor and jobless. Omigowd! When will this ever end? 

I'm so looking forward to 2018. This year has been a year of transformation for me. I learned a lot about myself and my life. Pain really teaches people lessons, it could either make or break them, and I feel more grateful instead of resentment. I learned to give more time to what truly matters in my life and letting go of what's superficial. 

I don't make new years resolution but I do have a lot of expectations from myself. This 2018, I plan to read more, write more (I really hope to have a writing skills like my favorite bloggers) and I hope to have a source of an extra income, hopefully an internet based job (where I have been doing a lot of googling lately) I hope and pray, and wishing that the odds will be in my favor. 

Cheers to a better 2018!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Year End Reflections: People

Only later in my life I realized that I easily get attached to people. I don't look like it but I do. When these people leave I get hurt, even if I did not really develop close friendship with them, I get sad when people ignored me like they never knew me. I feel upset when people treated the way I least expect them to treat me because I liked them. 

Many years ago, there was this girl in our church who I like so much. She was a kind girl, about my age back then, pretty and talented. She was an acquaintance of my husband, and she would greet us with her friendliest smile everytime she sees us. We were not friends but when she died I get sad because I'd never see her again. 

This year, someone I know is getting married. I thought she treated me like a close friend because that's what she was to me. I even treated her like a sister. But I have been wrong all this time. I was just an acquaintance, a co-worker to her. I could say that because of an incident that showed her true colors, a part of her that I have not seen all these years. A flaw on her character that's just probably normal to any human being. A weakness that anybody, a woman can have. But I'd accepted her and treated her still like a true friend despite her weakness. The painful part is to find out that I was not a friend to her, after all these years. But just some regular person that's part of her everyday. 

I realized that I should not expect anything from anybody, even from those people who I thought cared about me. At my age, it's hard to find and keep true friends. In the coming years, I will keep the ones I already have, like a treasure. If I make new friends, I'd probably treat them the same way but never expect anything. It may hurt a little but I guess that's the way things are, and I always need to remind myself this universal truth.  

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Year End Reflections: That Feeling

December has just started, but I'm already feeling that feeling again - that ending-the-year-and-beginning-a-new-one kind of feeling. I get that melodramatic feeling again.

I don't get much excited about Christmas anymore, not as much as when I was younger. Though I love seeing old friends, receiving extra money and gifts, the whole celebration thing exhausts me. The introvert me! 

Many years back, this was not the kind of Christmas that I had expected. I thought I'd be buying gifts for my mini-me, or a little boy that looked like my husband. But it has not happened. If it ever will, I don't really know. But right now, I just want to be at the moment and enjoy all that I have.

They say Christmas is for the children. I would love to believe that rather it's for everyone. For everyone who knows how to love unconditionally, like how Jesus Christ who is the true message of this season loved His people.  For everyone who has been knocked down by the storms in their lives and able to got back up again and sees life as still beautiful like nothing happened. It's for everyone.

This year, I will be joining the parade, go with the flow, be merry like everyone, and just be ready to start another one revolution around the sun ready to meet life's challenges full of hopes and love in my heart. I am keeping this feeling.  

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