Feeling that old little feeling when people starts counting down for Christmas? I know right. But for couple of days now, I feel like " a hell, what have I done with the past ten months?" this loud voice screaming in my head.
Despite my very best efforts to do the best I can and not procrastinate, I failed. Self, sorry, once again I failed you, and I'm so ashamed. I had all the energy at the start, but eventually it fades. Circumstances, challenges, and problems small, medium, and almost large kept crawling in and in an instant, my focus was gone.
I promised myself to read more to and write more so my English and writing would improve,but I miserably failed. I'm stalking a lot of blogs, read their every post, and envy the way they write. I get inspired but still, I don't think I have improved that much. Though I enjoy reading and updating my blog, I know to myself that I have wasted a lot of time.
Only few close friends (and I doubt if any in my family) knows about this blog. I don't really share this on Facebook. I put a link in my profile but I doubt if anyone bothers to click or check it out. I'd be happy if anyone did, and please if you happen to find this blog, let me know through my FB messenger I'd be really really happy! :)
I know I was not the best wife, daughter, aunt, sister, friend, co-worker and some other roles I play but I am trying my best every day to be the best version of myself every day. I should probably try and work harder to be better, than ever. Please forgive me. To my loved ones - my husband, my family and extended family, and friends, I love you all more than you thought of, Most of the time it doesn't show but you are the reason why I'm here in this world, and I'm doing all I can to be always there for you. I hope you'd be able to read this.
I don't know what to say. As much as possible I want to keep all the whining to myself but hey, I guess I have the right. This is my blog. This air conditioning behind my back is tormenting me. It give me frequent back aches. I call it my tormentor. It sucks all the happiness inside of me. At the end of the day, I get all exhausted and a little depressed. All because of this effing air conditioning! And to that someone whom I used to hold grudges to, I have worked hard and tried to please you. But I guess I can never really please you. So I'll stop and just do the best I could, and if you're not happy with it I'm sorry because I'm not perfect. I don't know if I can be friends with you because it's so awkward.
Life In General.
At this point in my life, I have come to realization that life isn't really about having everything we wanted and hoped for. Ten years ago, all my plans were different from the kind of life that I have now. I can say that my life I was diverted to a far different path than what I planned it to be. That life consists of a roller coaster of emotions. It repeats over and over in different situations,but then you have all the power to chose whether you dwell with it, get carried away, or let it pass until one roll is over. I will live my life because I still have a lot of reasons to wake up and go out each morning. The people I love and the things that matter. It's my life!