Things I Learned from My Six Year Old Marriage

Six years may be short enough for me to have a lot to say about marriage, and I know I can't even pass for that kind of woman whom problematic married women would come to for advice. That's okay, I don't have dreams of becoming a marriage counselor anyway, but I just want to write down here my whole perspective of marriage based on my sixth year. And will write again after ten, twenty and even more than that to see the difference, hehe :)

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I am nothing but happy, grateful and thankful to God because many years ago I thought I was destined to become a spinster or a nun. But now I realized that I will never be that independent strong woman that I thought I could be, and I turned out to be one dependent weak lady who needs to always have someone by her side. God has been really good to me. He gave me a husband who always stand by me at all times.

Six years may still be short, but you guys have no idea with what we've been through in those six years. We've been through a lot of highest highs and lowest lows of our marriage, and we're still here. There were times when I would just cry at night and wake up the next morning with swollen eyes because of too many problems, but God has been really good to keep us together when I thought I could not hold on. And my husband has always been the calmer one when things go real wrong.

In those six years, I have come to realize that wives must be willing to have most of the adjustments than the husbands. I crossed my boundaries and stepped out my comfort zone for a happy marriage and I must say it really paid off. I've also realized that the wives must be willing to shoulder the heavier burden (and/or workload) to make the marriage really work because if not, fights and misunderstandings will always surface here and there. I therefore conclude that in my case, being submissive is still a big factor in a happy marriage. I know some or probably most won't agree and I'm not going to force this on anyone, but I'm glad it worked on me! :)

In those six years, I have also learned that boys will always be boys. Meaning our husbands, no matter how
old they can be (my husband is younger than me) will always be like boys who seem to have their own worlds where women are not welcome. So I learned that wives should let their husband have their own hobbies or some kind of things that are outside family matters. They are not like us women, that when we start to have our own families, they became our whole world. Men are not like that. Just as long as they're not fooling around (you know what I mean by this), let them be - boys sometimes! :)

And lastly, some might probably think who the heck is this woman talking about marriage when it's different with having children. We are often judge to live a frivolous lives because we don't have kids. FYI, haven't you heard about the word infertility? Married couple who struggle with infertility are as stressed as married couple raising kids, maybe in different perspectives, but it isn't fair to judge us or label us as selfish people. I think I have posted my struggles about it but I deleted it - maybe will write about that again one of these days. You have no idea what we're going through so just please if you have nothing good to say we appreciate if you just don't say anything at all. An unsolicited opinion/advice is the last thing we need.

I am looking forward to an exciting and a better life and I still have hopes that God will grant us our bundle of joy. I thank God that despite that we are a happy couple but we will be happier with an additional member in our family of two.

Just like what the Bible in Proverbs 19:14 "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord".  

In my case, a good husband is a gift from God.